@jonnysun: its a good thing we swallow 8 spiders a year bc if it werent for those spiders, we'd be swalowing hundreds of flies and smaller insects
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@truegritrumble: I once dated a girl so my pet rock wouldn't be embarrassed after he threw himself at her window.
@robboma3: Seriously In 20 years time and you're at a pub quiz and a question starts with "in what year" Just answer 2016
@kamtweeting: There are hospitals for the criminally insane. And then there are parliaments for the insanely criminal.
@truegritrumble: COWORKER: I'm going to my friend's lake house this weekend for a party. ME: *lying* I also have friends.