@Cheeseboy22: It's a little sad that today's youth don't get to experience a red rubber dodgeball to the face like we did back in the day.
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@batkaren: Accidentally ran the wash with Ecstasy still in a back pocket. Now my jeans are freaking out, and the zipper won't stop grinding its teeth.
@JasonLastname: Doesn't count, officer, you forgot to read me my amanda rights! "Your what?" You know, my... [mumbles] banana rights.
@JennyJohnsonHi5: I bet at least ONE of Leonardo DiCaprio's friends has called him Leotard. Probably Mark Wahlberg...