@Cheeseboy22: It's a little sad that today's youth don't get to experience a red rubber dodgeball to the face like we did back in the day.
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@Midgetspar: I received a basketball in the mail from Amazon. I haven't played basketball in 20 years but apparently drunk me thinks I'm Michael Jordan.
@newstart43: I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.
@simoncholland: If you leave me a voice mail that asks me to call you back at my convenience you have no one to blame but yourself.
@ClichedOut: Me: Can I start digging? Society: No wtf that's grave robbing. [waits an hour] Me: How about now? Society: Ok, now it's archaeology.