@Cheeseboy22: It's a little sad that today's youth don't get to experience a red rubber dodgeball to the face like we did back in the day.
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@theNuzzy: Facebook: Adele is such an inspiration. Instagram: Adele looking beautiful in her gown. Twitter: Adele sounds like a chimney sweeper.
@MarfSalvador: me: how did you get ink all over your skirt? wife: oh umm, the printer at work exploded dave the squid: [in the closet] just tell him about us
@laura_payton: Registering my annual objection to Groundhog Day. We live in Canada. There will most definitely be six more weeks of winter. I don’t need a rodent to tell me this.
@LadyofCinema: I hate girls who insert the phrase "my boyfriend" into every conversation. So does my boyfriend.