@nicfit75: It's a serious Lego project when the 1st thing my 5yo does is take off his shirt and gets me a beer from the fridge.
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@TheAlexNevil: *job interview HR: Can you name one of your strengths? Me: Sure. I'll call it Giselle.
@Eightinchgoat: *Pulls your panties to the side* *Tries to remember how I even ended up wearing your panties*
@UNTRESOR: Homeless Yelp Review: Dumpster behind grocery on Calhoun & Fairfax BARELY had any rotting fruit. Owner chased me off with a bat. 0 stars.