@nicfit75: It's a serious Lego project when the 1st thing my 5yo does is take off his shirt and gets me a beer from the fridge.
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@CruisinSoozan: Sometimes I shock myself with the smart shit that comes out of my mouth then other times I try to start the microwave with my debit card PIN
@_wendyb07: Never feel more attractive than when my picture of cornbread gets almost as many likes as my selfie. "She's ok, but she's no cornbread."
@MUMSIEesq: Pro Tip: Do not let your kids push that red button in the elevator. The fire department will NOT think its adorable.