@nicfit75: It's a serious Lego project when the 1st thing my 5yo does is take off his shirt and gets me a beer from the fridge.
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@patrickhogan91: Can't get a woman? Rip out your rib and make your own! Critics are raving "this doesn't work" and "I'm bleeding to death".
@ScottFilmCritic: If you only see one raccoon getting a marriage proposal today, make it this one.
@KalvinMacleod: HER: it’s pretty sad when people are incapable of moving beyond small talk ME: do you like things?
@AtticusFinch79: <gets pulled over> Officer- What's making all that noise in your trunk? Me- My feelings. I'm trying to dispose of them properly.