@Shock_Monster: It's actually pretty impressive how many poor decisions I can fit in a day.
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@OhNoSheTwitnt: Saying Trump can't be an antisemite because his daughter converted to Judaism is like saying he can't be sexist because he married a woman.
@mstluvstrinkets: People dating on the internet have it so easy. Back in my day, a man would walk uphill both ways in the snow to disappoint a woman.
@yobrah_: [describing criminal to sketch artist] His breath smelled like rotten eggs & bad cheese so draw a lot of those smelly lines by his mouth