@Shock_Monster: It's actually pretty impressive how many poor decisions I can fit in a day.
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@zacharyflynn: If a mouse family ever stole my iPhone and used it as a flat screen TV then I'm okay with it as long as they're happy.
@vexroid: Found $0.83 under my pillow. It appears that I still have all of my teeth so now I'm a little worried about what I was paid for.
@RandomAntics: gonna have me one of them sexy closed-casket funerals, leave somethin to the imagination
@lovemydogduck: The only times I go for a jog is when there's a cute guy in front of me or a creepy guy behind me.