@electrolemon: "It's Adam and Eve, not Adamant Eve!" Despite his clever wordplay, Eve stands her ground. " I'm not doing butt stuff, Adam."
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@donjuantip: ALCOHOL. Because no one looks back on their life and remembers the nights they got plenty of sleep.
@lovemydogduck: I really hate working late. My ride turns into a pumpkin and I always end up losing a shoe.
@fusedude: I found out today that if I just let go of the steering wheel, my car will drive itself. The catch is: my car is a terrible driver.
@WilliamAder: I guess the guy who named the space between stuff in the universe "space" was just tired.