@Vodkantots: It's all fun and games until someone from real life recognizes you and you realize you're too small to drag off the body.
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@Holy_Mowgli: ROBBER: is this all the cash? CASHIER: yes but would you like to donate $1 to charity ROBBER [tears welling up inside his ski mask]: ok
@dreamthievin: Replace his deodorant with a glue stick so he thinks of you every time he tries to raise his arm to put around the shoulders of another girl
@david8hughes: [knocks on widow's door] Me: my condolences. Your husband was a good man with a wonderful set of golf clubs that he won't be needing anymore