@Vodkantots: It's all fun and games until someone from real life recognizes you and you realize you're too small to drag off the body.
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@TheDailySchmuck: First, Ray Rice. Now, Adrian Peterson. The prison football league is going to be off the chain this year.
@juliussharpe: Oscar Pistorius has the worst alibi ever. Who the hell would break into your house to rob your bathroom?
@MissNaughty1801: The worst thing about finding out Santa isn't real is that you realise it was your parents who were to blame for all the terrible presents
@theshantilly: I always try to compliment people, even if it's just, "Wow, I've never seen clothes worn like that before." or "You have a dope overbite."