@natalayhehoo: It's all fun and games until you accidently grab the hand sanitizer instead of the lube.
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@FatherWithTwins: Me: Look, even if you could breathe underwater, no one wants to be Aquaman. 4yo: Who's Aquaman? Me: EXACTLY!
@ashleycrem: I had children for two reasons; I wanted to start a loving family, and I needed a quick excuse to leave things.
@DiGiornoPizza: Imagine a world without pizza. No, no, stop crying this was just pretend I'M SORRY TRY AND CONTROL YOURSELF I'M SORRY