@IdoNotPoo: It's all fun and games until you find the Twitter crush who catfished you is infact your husband
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@Jenny4ashley: I haven't been around a baby in so long I can't even remember how to put their leash on.
@GlennHowerton: Happy St. Paddy's Day, everyone. I stayed in tonight. I'm not allowed to go out on St. Paddy's Day anymore. It's too much.
@9GAG: Apparently Neil Armstrong used to tell unfunny jokes about the Moon, and follow them up with "Ah, I guess you had to be there."
@ninjadinosaur1: The priest said that the demon really wants to leave, but I'm way too clingy, so the exorcism didn't work.