@Milariou: It's all fun and games until you notice the "rocket" in your son's Lego launchpad came from the drawer in your nightstand.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@StupidSophia_: Me: "The only person I need in my life is you." Bartender: "Please stop trying to hold my hand."
@ilovepie84: Whenever I see someone with spider web tattoos on their elbows I spray them with Raid and attempt to flush them down the toilet.
@RafflesWord: I want cake, to get cake I must get dressed, to get dressed I have to get out of bed, to get out of bed I need cake.
@KalvinMacleod: ME (pulling wishbone): I won WIFE: what'd u wish for? M: uh world peace W: Nice *human-sized bacon strip walks into kitchen* Hey, what’s up?