@Milariou: It's all fun and games until you notice the "rocket" in your son's Lego launchpad came from the drawer in your nightstand.
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@Epygma: "Do you want to go out on a date?" *sweats nervously* I C-CAN'T "Why?" *shoots friend next to him* I HAVE TO GO TO A FRIEND'S FUNERAL
@joejwest: COP: Give back the money you stole ME: Already spent it COP: On what? ME: Karate lessons which [does vague swishes w/ hand] I did not attend
@davidsirota: Things I learned from media: Sanders has won a bunch of states but must drop out Rubio shows he's a contender by losing nearly everywhere