@lurve_meh: It's all fun and games until you realize you're the girl at work known as "how is she still employed."
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@sixfootcandy: You'd think my hair would be a little more cooperative considering how many times I blow it per week.
@d_whitehouse: Lance Armstrong should be applauded for being able to ride a bike so well on drugs. I tried it once. Hit a dog and fell into the canal.
@Marlebean: Hostess:There's a 45 min wait Me:Do you know who I am? I have THOUSANDS of followers! H:Let me ask my manager *2 min later H:It'll be 43 min
@baseballchickie: First rule of being Italian is to tell everyone you're Italian. (I can say this cause I'm Italian.)