@lurve_meh: It's all fun and games until you realize you're the girl at work known as "how is she still employed."
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@samalmightysam: The difference between pizza and love is that when the pizza ends it doesn't send you subtweets.
@WoodyLuvsCoffee: Thanks for the Christmas card featuring the ultrasound photo. Here's one of my family gathered around an MRI of my knee.
@LittleMissZesty: Me: I'm not saying I hate your voice, but when you start talking, I understand the way dogs feel about fireworks. *howls* Co-worker:
@djdarrellripley: Her: Isn't she your girlfriend? Me: No, No, No, I broke up with her two days ago. She just hasn't checked her voice mail yet...