@SaraThomas84: It's all fun and games until you're sitting in the Planned Parenthood waiting room doing your Algebra homework
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@1followernodad: [at a bar] *creepy dude is hitting on me* Me: you wanna get outta here? Him: yeah Me: cool. I would love it if you left.
@TheDairylandDon: If I hear people screaming, I always go check on them. Not because I'm nosy or some kind of hero. There might be ice cream.
@causticbob: Waterboarding at Guantanamo Bay sounds super fun if you don't know what either of those things are.
@ingmarbirdman: If you're literally asking me to choose between our relationship and my obsession with pointing out doors to people, well, there's the door.