@SaraThomas84: It's all fun and games until you're sitting in the Planned Parenthood waiting room doing your Algebra homework
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@Ready_Set_Nope: I just overheard my kid muttering "I'm sorry you had to see that" to a stuffed toy. It's probably best not to ask what "that" was right?
@therealeatwood: ME: What an emotional roller coaster ROLLER COASTER: [calling out to me as I exit the park] Why are you leaving??!! Is it something I said?
@ahoytheboat: i wear my ninja turtles costume on all of my first dates just to weed out the weirdos.
@PopSlapFunk: *Arrives to save damsel in distress* Me: "Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your--" Rapunzel: "I have a boyfriend." Dragon flying by: "BURN!!"