@AmishPornStar1: It's almost summer and I'm only three stomach flus and a couple tapeworms away from my beach body!!!
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@tehaveragejoel: *bites nails* Sorry. Bad habit. I haven't been on a date in a while "I can see why" she says, pulling her fingers out of my mouth
@bengulate: My signature move is falling in love with a beautiful girl, then giving her really good advice on how to date someone else.
@Robski_Boy: If I reach 700 followers, I'm gonna tweet naked for the next hour. Won't do much for you guys, but it'll certainly liven up Starbucks.