@AmishPornStar1: It's almost summer and I'm only three stomach flus and a couple tapeworms away from my beach body!!!
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@MoneypennyNaked: Apparently speed dating doesn't involve taking amphetamines. UGH. Worst night ever.
@SamGrittner: If Captain America doesn't have a pizza hidden behind his shield at all times, he isn't fighting for the America I want to live in.
@susafrican420: white ppl: omg lakeisha is such a ghetto name white ppl: here comes my child daffodil ginseng blueberry yogurt
@osigat: <- I've been drinking for almost 6 hours. If you see something wash up on shore that looks like this, please identify me.