@MissWont: It's alright if we're doing it all wrong. After all, we are the first generation to deal with midlife crisis by staring at our phones.
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@basit_saeed: When people fall with their iPhone 6 in pocket and hear a crack sound: "Please let it be my leg, Lord."
@PaperWash: vampire waiter: would you like to order? customer: I'll have a steak vampire waiter: [sweating nervously] what...wuddya need a stake for?
@JustDontBugMe: Me: I was arrested for drunk driving. Mom: *faints* Me: Kidding! I failed my history test. Mom: Whew. Ok. *2 mins later* Mom:Failed a test??
@Vodkantots: Let It Snow is my favorite song about people who don't understand how weather works.