@RobDenBleyker: It's always funny when the flight attendant says "we know you have a choice of airlines" as if free will exists.
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@panmidwest: [nervously speeding up as I drive my date past a Taco Bell] SIRI: At frequent destination. Set this address as 'Home' address?
@jwoodham: But, soft! What light through yonder window breaks? / Are you still on your iPhone even though you said you were going to sleep?
@JanieBoBanie3: I see your eyes lookin me up and down, baby. Mhmm. Huh? Toilet paper hangin out of my pants? Oh.
@LurkAtHomeMom: If you haven't told your kids that wine is made out of whiny children then congratulations I guess you're a better parent than me.