@ch000ch: it's always sad when you have to take your sick goldfish out to the pasture and shoot it in the head.
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@unravelingfire: Researcher: By 2030, life expectancy is predicted to increase globally by 6 years. Southerner: [pouring mac and cheese into deep fryer] No.
@Rollinintheseat: If a British person calls 911 and says, "It's a bloody mess" how does the operator know if there's blood or the person is just being British
@WhirledRecord: USA: "Hey, Canada, can you hold this for a second?" Canada: "OK." *USA hands Detroit to Canada* *USA quickly walks away.*