@ch000ch: it's always sad when you have to take your sick goldfish out to the pasture and shoot it in the head.
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@mrtruthandsoul: Breaking News: Scientists clone a new hybrid cantalope and cauliflower. "We call it the melon-cauli," says Dr. Noah Lot of OMG I'm so sorry
@withanewname: It's like these people at the liquor store have never seen somebody pay with this much change
@Brampersandon_: [Me]: "I have hat-like reflexes" [You]: Don't you mean cat-like reflexes? [Me]: *sitting on top of your head* "Nope"