@preawsaurus: it's always the wrong ex who gets drunk and messages you a million times about how much he loves you.
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@thetits: BRUTUS: hail Caesar *draws knife* CEASAR: not this time *hands Brutus an Uno "reverse" card* B: SHIT ROMAN SENATE:*stabs Brutus to death*
@murrman5: Sorry I lied about knowing how to play the piano. What's that? Yes, I agree it made the funeral uncomfortable.
@slimmy_shady: Breaking news!? Shark sighting off Daytona shores. It's the ocean! That's where they live. I saw a bird in the sky. Report that too!
@tsm560: *thinks happy thoughts* *throws pixie dust in your eyes* *flies off with all your money*