@preawsaurus: it's always the wrong ex who gets drunk and messages you a million times about how much he loves you.
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@ibid78: [sees girl reading The Bible] "Ah I love that book. The way they just *clenches fist* buy all those frickin bulls."
@sad_tree: When people say "You can fit a million earths in the sun!!!" I'm like: Hey. Maybe we shouldnt put any earths in the sun. The sun is hot.