@TheAlexNevil: It's amazing how a simple act of kindness can change my bad mood into a suspicious bad mood.
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@Douchekevin: Bad is accidently sending your buddy a dirty sext intended for your girlfriend. Worse is getting 'lemme think about it' for a reply.
@Ygrene: Me: allow me to be a frank with you You: ok but don't you mean 'be fra-' Me: [is suddenly a hotdog] You: [is suddenly a hotdog]
@TribalSpaceCat: PILOT OVER INTERCOM: alright folks, by a show of hands, who has ever made a small and understandable mistake?
@MollySneed: "I'm glad you're so normal. It's refreshing." "That's me- totally normal!" *waves off mariachi band waiting in the wings*