@JermHimselfish: It's amazing how eating such a small amount of dog food can cause such a large amount of concern from the people at the pet store.
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@close_c: You know you're a bad driver when Siri tells you "after 400 feet stop and let me out"
@iwearaonesie: [movie] *guy hugs woman from behind while she cuts vegetables* wife: Aww me*does same thing* wife:ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME LOSE A FINGER?!
@JermHimselfish: I love raking all the leaves in my yard into a big pile then running really fast and jumping to conclusions when people don't text me back.
@MrAaronAbrams: I don't get why I'm supposed to like someone who's different in the streets and in the sheets sounds duplicitous just be a freak everywhere.