@JermHimselfish: It's amazing how eating such a small amount of dog food can cause such a large amount of concern from the people at the pet store.
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@Lisa_Laughs_: I'm fresh out of hopes and dreams. Can I interest you in despair and disappointments?
@craiguito: If your partner says "if anything happens to me, I want you to meet someone new," "anything" doesn't include getting stuck in a traffic jam
@johnfreiler: my friend's apartment building burned down so he's at his parents' and he still won't hang out with me. HOW MANY MORE FIRES DO I NEED TO SET