@YogaButterfly_: It's amazing how kids can't think of a thing to do all day long but you put them to bed at 11 pm & they're busy working on a cure for cancer
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@KalvinMacleod: GOD: I call this Tupperware SATAN: remember when I let u crash at my place and u said u owed me one G: yes S: make the lid a little smaller
@EvanJKessler: Don't hate the game, hate the player who keeps sending you Facebook invites to play the game.
@hippieswordfish: [preppin for rap battle] *pops retainer out* dont wanna give him any ammunition *takes off suspenders* that should do it *rollerblades away*
@noduffers: I just called one ex a calculator and another a potential murder victim so if you're looking for metaphors, I'm probably the grapefruit.