@SteveSuckington: It's amazing that no one at this swim up bar has had to go to the bathroom in the last three hours.
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@InternetHippo: [thoughts of person talking to me]: He's furrowing his brow, he must really be listening! [my brain]: How do cows make cheese
@iGreenMonk: How boring my life has become! The only time I hear myself say, "I'm coming" is when I'm trying to tell my dog I'm getting his food ready!
@TraitorousFinn: *Kylo Ren pranks calls Finn* Hey Finn I bet you shop at *dramatic pause* Traitor Joes!!! *High fives Hux*