@MandiAtRandom: It's been 5 years now. I'm afraid that I actually might not be bloated.
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@carlyken: Jesus take the wheel. No that's a book. A penny. A rock. DAMMIT JESUS DIDN'T YOU TAKE THAT ENGLISH AS A SECOND LANGUAGE CLASS I RECOMMENDED
@JJSummertime: If I had 3 wishes I'd spend them on my daughter. Happiness, success and her very own little shithead who refuses to replace the TP roll.
@chiekshere: [waffle house] Waitress: how do u like your eggs Me: hatched and with their families W: no how do u like them cooked M: [spits out coffee]
@OnBeingHer: 6: I'm going outside to play. Me: Stay in your own yard. 6: Define "my own yard" Me: .... have fun. So her mother's child.