@Shock_Monster: It's been clinically proven that the most effective form of birth control I can use is: "Just be myself."
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@DannyMcH2O: Some homophobic guys are scared that a dude might hit on 'em. If a chick wouldn't hit on you, neither would a dude. Ugliness is universal.
@Flora__Flora: How does the little mermaid decide which creatures are her friends and which ones are her bra
@chuuew: A local man died after a shelf full of routers fell on him. It was an unexpected LAN slide.
@juanadog: Pointed out my kids real dad to them at the car wash today. None of us are sure if I'm kidding.