@Shock_Monster: It's been clinically proven that the most effective form of birth control I can use is: "Just be myself."
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@eat_pray_liv: Outkast: Ok now ladies! Me: Yeah??! OK: I wanna see y'all on your baddest behavior! Me: *slowly incurs $18.37 in overdue library fees*
@Playing_Dad: Daughter: Daddy, why do you have to go to work everyday? Me: Do you like clothes? Daughter: Not really Me: Shut up