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@seaninbuffalo: "It's been months since I got laid."
- Baby chickens
@eric10F: Opens a sperm bank that only accepts redheaded donors....
The Ginger Bred House.
@Nikkeya08: My husband just got to level three on netflix: "faking an illness" to finish binge watching
I'm on level 6: "faking your own abduction"
@DumbConfessions: *sees couple holding hands*
*violently breaks them apart*
"Go. You're free now."
@daemonic3: Professor: Today's exam is written. Next week we will do oral
Class in unison: I HAVE A BOYFRIEND
@goldengateblond: Tim Cook bravely announces he's gay.
The world pats his hand like a kindly grandmother.
"We know, dear."