@pixelatedboat: It's bullshit that dogs get their own heaven but we humans have to go to the same heaven as moths and tractors
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@huntigula: [at aquarium] "Kids, the blowfish is named bc of its cheeks" BLOWFISH: [taps glass] actually that's a common misconception, got any cocaine?
@shariv67: If you see someone wearing camouflage, make sure to walk right into them so they know it's working.
@Twtercide: If you want the truth, ask a child. If you want some bullshit, ask an adult. If you want to end up in jail, ask your friends on Twitter.