@qwertying: It's called PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
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@weinerdog4life: Thank you to whoever has been keeping Keanu Reeves busy with a laser pointer for the last 10 years.
@JasonLastname: Historians say teenagers in medieval times would send an average of 180 tiny scrolls by raven per day
@Roxtalled: Opening a Twitter account is like opening a bag of money after you rob a bank. You're happy until shit explodes in your face.