@qwertying: It's called PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
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@AdamTheLobster: [In bed with gf] "Do you have any fantasies?" Yeah, one. You know your friend Sarah, the hot one? "Yes.. why?" I want to hit her with my car
@trevso_electric: On a scale of 1 to girl who just got back from a semester abroad in Europe, how annoying are you?
@KrazykurtKurt: When I practice my saxophone I have to put the cat in the window, so my neighbours know I'm not kicking it around the living room.
@thewordy: boys love mysterious girls so don't be afraid to show up to dates with a shovel and a smear of fresh blood on your collar