@birbigs: "It's Christmas Eve, not Christmas Steve." -confused homophobe
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@howe007: I wonder if clouds ever look down on us and say "hey, that one over there is shaped like an alcoholic".
@Donnie_Fairburn: [First day as a superhero] Oh hell yeah! *sees a crime happening* Already? Ok... *the bad guy looks really mean* Umm, I'll get the next one
@SwoonTwang: If I had a nickel for every time someone called me OCD I'd have 27 dollars and 15 cents.