@birbigs: "It's Christmas Eve, not Christmas Steve." -confused homophobe
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@BriarSly: Well, if anything, the Mayans DID teach us ONE valuable lesson. If you don't finish something...it's really not the end of the world.
@HehBuddy: I super glue one jar of pickles shut and leave it out at the barbecue then watch the humiliation unfold.
@Breadery: I tried to wear skinny jeans but it squeezed all my flesh into the top half of my body and made me look like a novelty balloon.