@RobDenBleyker: IT'S CHRISTMAS EVE, NOT CHRISTMAS STEVE!!
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@LaniBeno: I hate it when people don't behave the way I thought they would when I rehearsed the conversation in my head.
@GrantTanaka: they say penguins mate for life, but that's bullshit cause my penguin left me first chance she had
@david8hughes: [soldier dying in my arms] Soldier: tell my wife- Me: dude I'm already giving messages for 3 guys. Just wait until she dies & tell yourself