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@RobDenBleyker: IT'S CHRISTMAS EVE, NOT CHRISTMAS STEVE!!
@loribuckmajor: I like to finish other people's sentences because
my version is better.
@Fred_Delicious: [penguin waddles into computer repair store]
"Hi yes my laptop is frozen"
Computer repair guy - "how did you get to Milwaukee"
@DebasaurusRex: Autocorrect, no matter how many times I tell you, I don't want anyone's duck in my can't.
@omgthatspunny: A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
@jan_rtr: My kid is singing "Mac-n-cheese" to the tune of "Stand by Me."
You guys just tried it, didn't you?