@Cheeseboy22: "It's cold!", "Happy birthday!", "I'm so blessed", "Political rant!"... There, now you don't have to go to Facebook today. You're welcome.
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@WhatsHerFace33: If your wife says "what would you do without me?" "Live happily ever after" is NOT the correct answer. Brrrr it's cold in this doghouse :(
@mrtruthandsoul: I'm always two drinks away from digging up my backyard to look for dinosaur bones
@KeetPotato: wife: we should go before you saying something stupid me: ok wife: [to widow] lovely funeral service me: yeah lets do this again sometime