@Cheeseboy22: "It's cold!", "Happy birthday!", "I'm so blessed", "Political rant!"... There, now you don't have to go to Facebook today. You're welcome.
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@Probgoblin: I run down a hospital corridor, clutching the mustard dispenser I liberated from the cafeteria. Earlier I had a plan. Now I have mustard.
@Cherbearxo: I promised my trainer that I'd set a gym schedule I would commit to regularly. So, now every time there's a lunar eclipse I work out.
@LeslieInMpls: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me 85,432 times, you're a weatherman
@TweetsByTheTony: Eating some turkey? Put gravy on it. Mashed potatoes dry? Try gravy. Headache? Shot of gravy. Depressed? More gravy. Lost a limb? Gra