@thatUPSdude: It's common knowledge talking shit will result in dental work.
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@daveexplosm: The problem with having a large imagination is that you can imagine your friends naked. Now you're doing it too.
@TheBoydP: Protip: If your coworker has a picture of herself and her dog labeled "Beauty and the Beast" you shouldn't ask her which one is which.
@AimeeHelene1: *picks out all the marshmallows from your Lucky Charms* *replaces them with Flintstones vitamins* You looked a little sickly.
@shutupmikeginn: A tall guy in movie theater just sat in front of me and he's on a date so he's going to have good posture the whole time this sucks