@thatUPSdude: It's common knowledge talking shit will result in dental work.
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@rolldiggity: ME: "This might be a dumb question..." SCIENTIST: "There's no such thing as dumb que--" ME: "Am I a dragon?"
@StephenBCramer: My sister is holding her baby in one hand and a cup of Starbucks in the other, I'm going to toss her phone at her to see who gets dropped.
@Taryn_: That awkward moment when someone is cooking fish in the office and all the girls begin sniffing themselves.
@Schmoodles: Apparently, when your boss asks you to get a cake for a coworker's 60th birthday, 'cake' is not code for 'stripper.' Live & learn, guys.