@Bagyants: It's convenient for my password security needs that my mother's maiden name is Waffles4%
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@AndrewNadeau0: If you can't think of a word say "I forget the English word for it". That way people will think you're bilingual instead of an idiot.
@PetrickSara: This other mom was complaining about being so sick that her MIL took the kids for a few days. KID FREE for DAYS! So I licked her face.
@tastefactory: If a zombie approaches you, bop it on the nose with a rolled-up magazine and say NO.