@envydatropic: It's cute how my family thinks I'm playing with fire and I'm just trying to cook them breakfast
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Super_Cynthia: 911: What's your emergency? [sounds of struggling and growling] 911: Hello?! Me: I OFFERED THIS RACCOON MY SANDWICH BUT I CHANGED MY MIND
@EJGomez: [slams on the brakes] WHAT DO YOU MEAN LINDSAY LOHAN PLAYED BOTH TWINS IN THE PARENT TRAP
@lovemydogduck: The best way to tell someone you don't like them is to text them 370HSSV 0773H and tell them to read it upside down.