@Love_bug1016: It’s cute how people just rudely walk in front of my car like they don’t realize I’ll hit them and blame it on being an Asian driver.
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@k_lli: Social butterfly? Nah. I'm more like a social Sasquatch. Some people swear they've seen me, but no one really believes them.
@truegritrumble: INTERVIEWER: Your greatest weakness? ME: I'm told my laugh is sinister. INTERVIEWER: Lol. That can't be true. ME: Mwahahaha. I know, right.
@13spencer: An Italian rugby player will miss a match against Scotland after being bitten by a dog; Scotland was quoted as saying "good boy."
@ArfMeasures: Therapist: What's the issue? Me: They kicked me out of Fight Club Therapist: You want to talk about it? Me: That's right