@trevso_electric: It's Election Eve, Not Election and Steve!
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@onelongbender: Watching my son's soccer game in the cold and rain cuz I'm a good Mom. From my heated car cuz I'm not a total idiot.
@Jenny4ashley: [leaving store without bag] Cashier: Forgetting something? "Oh wow, how embarrassing" *walks back to give her a hug and kiss on the lips*
@liv_thatsme: Me (to stock boy): Tell the manager there's a mess in Aisle 6 *Manager arrives* Me: I really appreciate this, I've just been really lonel-
@JohnLyonTweets: I don’t care how much candy he offers you, kids, do NOT get out of Billy Ocean’s dreams and into his car.