@trevso_electric: It's Election Eve, Not Election and Steve!
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@skickwriter: Him: *running* That's not what they mean when they say, "Chicks dig scars!" Me: *shovel in hand* It's what this chick means.
@Jason_Horton: Guys if you are into a girl you have to be confident enough to look her right in the eye on her Facebook profile pic & press the Like button
@bigmacher: #ItsTheEndOfTheWorldAnd I'm going to run with scissors and swim immediately after eating!!!
@G_Faylor: [Scientist discovering catfish] Scientist: What kind of fish are you? Fish, maintaining eye contact: *pushes entire shelf of beakers over*