@DearAuntAbby: It’s extremely difficult to search my tweets when I constantcessantly make up nonsensicalistic words and greatastic werges.
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@DaddyJew: Girl: do you have a condom? Me: c'mon what's the worst that could happen *hears a knock on the door 4: daddy I think I started a fire
@AmishPornStar1: Interviewer: So, why do you want to work here? Me: Well, I don’t really want to “work” here, per se...I just really need the paychecks.
@NicktheDrummy: We're gonna party like its 1999. //breaks out Nokia flip phone and starts to panick about Y2K//