@kumailn: It's fine to eat chicken with skin but serve beef with skin and everybody just starts freaking out.
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@Samzen_: All girls love surprises. I didn't know putting a snake in her handbag was wrong. We can't understand women.
@Lynseyjo1: To the girl with the nazi swastika avi that just rt'd me...... You just rt'd a Jew!!!! Enjoy your evening shalom
@JohnLyonTweets: Friend: What time is it? Me: (pulls out phone, checks Twitter and Facebook notifications, puts phone away) Friend: Well? Me: Well what?
@MadamBetteNoire: Teaching your kids to question everything is important. Until you're sitting there banging your head on the table.