@MichaelSmartGuy: "It's five o'clock somewhere" I say as I leave work at 9am
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@heymonroe: Fun Prank 1.) Go to Yoga class 2.) Compliment some people on their mats 3.) Unroll 20x25 oriental rug.
@ArfMeasures: WIFE: We'd have less arguments if he wasn't so pedantic THERAPIST [to me] Is that right? ME: No. It should be fewer arguments
@ValeeGrrl: At cardio class tonight, a 22yo size 0 told me "you run fast for someone your age" so now I have a body to bury if anyone wants to help me.
@philyuck: She *blows into Nintendo cartridge* took *blows into Nintendo cartridge* the *blows into Nintendo cartridge* kids