@ericsshadow: It's funny how Gina who cheated on me in 9th grade because I was "too much of a prude" is now a Catholic school teacher.
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@soccerskiingmom: If any Americans still feel like emigrating to Canada, can you please bring up some Thanksgiving leftovers?
@OldUncleDaveO: Pretty sure I just heard a grown man wrestle a bear in a bathroom stall at Chipotle.
@SamuelHLowe: When my girlfriend sends me to the supermarket to get cucumbers I also buy Vaseline so the cashier doesn't think I'm a vegan.
@Book_Krazy: Me: Congrats! I heard you got married again Her: Sorry I didn't invite you. It was a small ceremony Me: Its ok. I'll go to your next one