@ItsLaTourette: It's funny how we all sleep differently. I sleep on my side My roommate sleeps on his back. My ex sleeps with everybody. That sort of thing
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@BestScienceJoke: Some cardinals and some ordinals walked into a bar, but the ordinals walked in first.
@longwall26: The ocean is full of sharks, jellyfish, man-eating octopus, and nightmare whales, but make sure you wait a half-hour after eating to go in.
@ThingsGoinOn: "Kids are great when you need help around the house." - People who don't have kids