@MableGertrude: It's funny how you become mom's new favorite when your sibling is in jail.
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@JordanPeele: I've been dating a girl online who I think might be a Catfish. Every time I try to meet, her excuse is that she "can't survive on dry land."
@Schmoodles: You can get out of jury duty on the first day by blatantly winking at the defendant as you give them a double thumbs up.
@protolalia: Looking for a job on Craigslist. A guy wants to pay $150 to borrow a valid driver's license to rent a car. What could possibly go wrong?
@tuckerflodman: To Do List While in Jail 1. Ask someone for an Eskimo kiss and when they shake their head no say,"Hey why'd you start without me?" 2. 3.