@BigGucci_Idz: It's funny when guys say "treat your girl right or I will" lol if you could treat girls right then where is your girl?
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@girlontapas: Water leak. No water for 2 days. Then the plumber cut the cable line. No internet. No TV. 2 stinky teenagers. Send wine and bail money.
@ElizaBayne: Just saw a dolphin with a tattoo of a college girl struggling for individuality and freedom from her middle class parents
@radtoria: Fastening a pendant around my son's neck before dying for him, "Keep this always. The audience won't recognize you as an adult without it"
@ScottyDsntKnow3: My wife thinks I'm too impulsive. How the hell would she know? We only met last week!