@mattgallo123: It's funny, when I walk into a spider web I demolish his home and misplace his dinner yet I still feel like the victim.
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@ilovepie84: I once put a baby in adult clothing and placed him on my desk with a water bottle labeled "fountain of youth" right next to him.
@KraftDinerr: "OPEN UP, THIS IS THE POLICE!" haha, no way losers. I've got things to do. *cop whispering* "what do we do? this guy is owning us hard!"
@internetluke: [at wine tasting] Hmm yes, very good. a slight smokey undertone. "Sir, you just put your cigarette in your wine" Strong smokey undertone
@Brentweets: If someone is choking the best thing to do is ask them if they're okay repeatedly then if that fails give a concerned look until resolved.