@tastefactory: "It's gonna taste really good." - excerpt from the guide What To Expect When You're Expecting Pizza
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@UrbanDouchebag: Sometimes it's nice to feel another body pressed up against your own, even if rigor mortis has already set it.
@TitansHomer: Wife: What's the Harlem shake? Me: I don't know, I think they sell them at Burger King?
@Reverend_Scott: That IS a banana in my pocket AND I'm happy to see you. Why must society make these two things mutually exclusive??
@philmann: Great. Only a single slice of bread left in the bag. That means until I find another slice, everything that happens today is in the sandwich