@TheBoydP: It's hard for me to believe that the new Star Wars trailer has already been seen millions of times. How do they even know where it's parked?
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@BadJordon: ME [struggling]: skinny jeans, skinny jeans, let me in SCARED DENIM: don't come back till you're thinny, thin, thin
@BevisSimpson: Havent picked sides in Gamer gate yet.. which do I like more.. the entire female gender or the thing where I pretend to kill people on Tv..
@XplodingUnicorn: Pregnant wife: Are you going to be a good big sister? 3-year-old: Babies are jerks.
@liv_thatsme: "A rug, but PERMANENT! It'll capture all your beloved dirt & filth for years to come! Each stain tells a special tale!" -inventor of carpet