@TheCiscoKidder: It's hard to look like a badass when you're slurping on a strawberry smoothie.
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@rickygervais: If a swan broke my arm I'd keep it quiet. Embarrassing. "Help, I'm being beaten up by a big white lanky floating chicken." Not cool.
@LMLMadness: Last night I did Crossfit for the first time and now I understand why those people always look so angry.
@AnkCoupleTO: Me: *eating 3rd Twix of the day* Her: You eat too much candy, you're going to make me a widow Me: *orders 10 truckloads & cancels all plans*
@QwertyJones3: [arguing with my wife] WELL AT LEAST I DON'T BRING UP THINGS FROM THE PAST LIKE YOU DID LAST MONTH