@TheCiscoKidder: It's hard to look like a badass when you're slurping on a strawberry smoothie.
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@markleggett: If a soccer player falls in the forest and nobody is there to see it, do they still flail their arms and cry and act like a big dumb baby?
@iLikeCatShirts: Me [trying to sound intellectual]: okay, okay which came first turkey the bird or Turkey the *points at map*
@BobbyBucchae: Watched Full House for not even a full minute & now I'm white with a credit score of 720