@TheCiscoKidder: It's hard to look like a badass when you're slurping on a strawberry smoothie.
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@Burnam1: Paranormal activity camera 3:33am... Only catches me eating a chicken leg while doing the robot in my underwear.
@stevevsninjas: [immortal aliens studying us] After about 80 years, they enter a larval stage and lie dormant underground. We don't know what happens next.
@Kyle_Lippert: "I love u" "Umm isn't it a bit too soon to say I love you?" "Oh ha I meant the letter U. What's your fav u word? Mine is Unreciprocated lol"