@Darlainky: "It's important to remember Snitches get stitches", I whisper to my 5 year old nephew as my sister asks who drank all of her wine.
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@QwertyJones3: [speed dating] I enjoy gardening. I've got a bit of a green thumb. Actually several of my fingers are discolored. I think I have diabetes.
@sad_tree: *a dog sits down at a roulette table and pushes his life savings in chips to the center* Put it all on Grey
@OhNoSheTwitnt: "I am Daenerys Targaryen. The Unburnt. Mother of Dragons. Breaker of chains. Que-" Job interviewer: Three references is fine.