@samalmightysam: "It's impossible." said pride. "It's risky." said experience. "It's pointless." said reason. "Ggrraadrttgrrtrr." said Chewbacca.
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@panmidwest: [pulled over] ME: Ok, don't let him know you're an alligator COP: Sir, step out of the car & walk in a straight line ME: [exhale] thank God…
@ryan9billion: I liked watching squirrel soap operas unfold in my backyard right up until the damn neighbor cat murdered all the actors.
@therealeatwood: JUDGE: I sentence you to 2 consecutive life sentences [60 yrs later: convict dies, is reincarnated] COP: This baby camel is under arrest