@samalmightysam: "It's impossible." said pride. "It's risky." said experience. "It's pointless." said reason. "Ggrraadrttgrrtrr." said Chewbacca.
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@XplodingUnicorn: 5-year-old: What happens if the baby pees? Pregnant wife: She won't. She waits till she's born 5: Right. Just like no one pees in the pool
@lecalabara: Wife: I finally caught you. I could hear it from the other room. You were watching a dirty movie. Me: No. Its just womens tennis.
@Milariou: It's all fun and games until you notice the "rocket" in your son's Lego launchpad came from the drawer in your nightstand.