@JohnHilsen: It's impossible to lick your elbow. You never let me. Please. I want this.
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@KrunkedRobot: Jokes on you hot chick at the bar who gave me a radio station's phone number I just won Harlem Globetrotter tickets and a Bud Light poncho.
@maughammom: My 'Mom Voice' was so loud even the neighbors washed their hands and cleaned their rooms.
@FunnyJokeBook: Parents: "Why don't you come socialize with the family?" Me: *sits with family* *gets insulted by entire family* *goes back to bedroom*