@TitaniumToplass: It's impossible to slowly tiptoe around without activating T-Rex arms.
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@unravelingfire: Do hairy people get bed head all over? Ma'am, I just called to see if you're happy with your cell phone provider. But probably they do.
@HysteriaBarbie: My coworker had a baby. I had a BLT. I think we all know who the real winner is
@shamans_heal: Pro Tip: If you leave an assortment of tissues, cold medicine, and a big bag of cough drops visible on your desk, coworkers will avoid you!