@TitaniumToplass: It's impossible to slowly tiptoe around without activating T-Rex arms.
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@UNTRESOR: "Sorry, boss. I can't come in today." "Why not?" [fakes a sore throat] "I'm in jail for vehicular manslaughter."
@therealeatwood: PRODUCER: OK, so this is a reality show about a blended family EXEC: Like a real-life Brady Bunch? PRODUCER: [uncovering giant blender] No
@Book_Krazy: Me: Well hello again. I knew you'd be back. I seem to have that effect on people Fed Ex: Just sign here so I can leave