@iSamJack: It's just sad how often I
see zookeepers breaking their own
'Dont Feed the Animals' rule.
@YeahDrewisOn: Psychoanalysis is just regular analysis performed by one of my exes
@GBRougecity: I don't believe in reincarnation but damn my dog looks like he's trying to crank over a motorcycle while he's sleeping.
@dreamthievin: A true Columbus Day sale in a mattress store would mean all the merchandise is infested with smallpox
@sixthformpoet: I can never tell if a mother duck is being dutifully followed by her ducklings or chased by a gang of young duck criminals.
@xysist: Breakups is just a fancy name for what happens when men win arguments.