@iSamJack: It's just sad how often I
see zookeepers breaking their own
'Dont Feed the Animals' rule.
@WilliamAder: Are iPads supposed to be red with two white knobs on the bottom?
@Lisabug74: I'm Mexican and Filipino. No matter how you look at me, I'm good at cleaning.
@truegritrumble: (People Touring My House 50 Years After I Die)
TOUR GUIDE: And over here we found a second secret room ALSO full of bacon.
@AnitaHelmet: I have a thing for older men. Not cuz I have 'daddy issues', but because I also like to eat dinner at 4:30 and be asleep by 8pm.
@Izianikapani: "Do people really become like their pets?" I wonder, absentmindedly raising a leg above my head and staring into space.