@iSamJack: It's just sad how often I
see zookeepers breaking their own
'Dont Feed the Animals' rule.
@noogscorner: Apple just announced a 20-year plan to develop technology that actually allows grid-like manual organization of Home screen app icons.
@Sassafrantz: The average person has sex 103 times a year and it's almost March so that means only 103 more to go.
@Home_Halfway: ME: How much for this aggressive bottle of water?
FIREFIGHTER: Sir that's a hydrant
@KaysNH: A teacher is always just one loud fart away from losing control of a classroom.
@daemonic3: Why you on this flight to LA?
"I'm shooting a pilot for a new TV series"
What's it called?
"So you think you can emergency land a plane?"