@EliTerry: It's kill or be killed. Or eat a sandwich. Maybe go for a light jog. Draw a picture of a duck. There are a lot of options out there.
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@Sarcasmo718: I'd love to see Jason Statham's face when he finds out you can turn down movie roles.
@nintendoesnt: waitress: i’m sorry your food is taking so long! me: *presses forehead against hers* listen to me. i know it’s not your fault. i love you. i am tipping you 80%.
@TheTweetOfGod: Today is the first day of the rest of your life and you've already screwed it up.